Sad Panda.
But seriously, how?
I had a wreck of a week, and I condemned it as such on Monday. That’s no good. Tues-Fri had no chance.
What’s your strategy? Bestow your wisdom upon me, readers.
For those of you who have not had the fortune of following this saga, the above image is of Sad Panda. Catch up on the story here.
As our bus was racing down the highway toward Boston yesterday, I was absentmindedly looking out the window.
It wasn’t an unfamiliar scene – trees whizzing past in a homogeneous blur, sky static in the background, anchoring the dizzy trees – but, perhaps due to my ample free time, it took on new meaning.
It was a great visual representation of how I often experience the passage of time. And even how I feel, much of the time. (I have an affinity for finding visual/physical representations of things that are not physical.)
I frequently feel like a passive observer to time flying past me, and I’m struggling to catch up. “I’m almost finished with college, shouldn’t I have a plan?” “Why didn’t I start working on ____ earlier?” “How has it been x years since I stopped dancing/moved to New York/etc?” “Why haven’t I done more with myself?” “Why can’t I stick with anything?” Such is the effect of the trees.
My sky is both good and bad. Both people and behaviors. Trends and thoughts.
I’m not really sure if I have a conclusion here. Except, I suppose, that this is a feeling I’ve dreaded and always vowed to avoid. It’s the feeling of the 9 to 5. Of imminent graduation. Of fear of failure.
My general observation is that I feel I am not in control of the speed of the “trees.” That, at least, is something I can hope to change.
Am I alone in this?
The following image made me a bit queasy, but I felt it was appropriate.
“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”
Emo Philips
age 22
dancer
recent college grad
explorer
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